We documented on this page of our website how Conan’s anti-wood career likely started.
Conan O’Brien has, not surprisingly, committed a number of crimes against the wood. We have been documenting his deeds but the job of cataloguing all of his horrid behaviour takes an enormous amount of time and resources. WU D3 TREE would appreciate it if a human rights organization or the United Nations could take up our cause.
For now, we are using this space to document some of Conan’s crimes.
Conan crime: torture chamber
WU D3 TREE has credible information that Conan O’Brien runs a secret torture chamber where wood is mistreated most horribly.
In addition, Conan O’Brien insiders have revealed to us that Conan runs a parallel torture system for humans. This torture chamber is a dimly-lit recording studio where he records a regular series of anti-wood tirades where guests (i.e. terrified prisoners) are brought in. These helpless victims are forced to since in close proximity to Conan as he spews out a steady stream of non-sensical anti-wood propaganda. Conan’s recording session torture project would be less of an ordeal if the tense mood was occasionally by anything resembling the slightest hint of humor. That is tragically not the case, however.
Conan crime: wood orphans
The photo above is taken from an overcrowded wood orphanage where dozens of wood orphans spend their formative years huddled together for warmth. They keep their spirits up by telling each other their hopes of being adopted by a rocking chair or china hutch. As a result of the large number of wood orphans and the lack of resources though, few wood orphans are ever adopted.The orphans are in this photo are actual victims of Conan O’Brien. In fact, 87% of the wood orphans worldwide are victims of Conan wood oppression.